Goals & Ambitions: as a Couple & as Individuals

Emma & Connor
12-28-19
Syracuse, NY
Photo by Erin Willey
Her: Coat – Urban Outfitters, similar
His: Coat – LL Bean, similar

With being two months into 2020, we figured it’s probably time we post our goals; but this isn’t going to be type the New Year’s Resolution posts you may be used to. We’re a little late to the band wagon on this post, but that’s because we don’t make New Year’s Resolutions. Neither of us ever have.

Connor says he’s not a resolution type because he can’t keep up with them. Fair. I think I am similar & don’t like to set goals for a new year because I get anxiety I won’t reach that goal. I set life goals, which allows room for the goals to change or be reached. I heard a quote somewhere that said something along the lines of, “only think as far ahead as seven months and seven years: what can you do in the next seven months that will get you where you want to be in seven years?” I wish I knew the source. I heard it on The Skinny Confidential podcast & they sourced the actual author. I think about this quote all the time.

I guess in a way that quote relates to setting New Year Resolutions, but I still don’t think of it that way. I also don’t measure my years in the number on the calendar. I do by age. So I’d rather set, “before I’m 30” goals, or something.

So with that, what are our goals? For 2020 and in general? Yeah, we came up with some 2020 goals just for the purpose of this post.

Emma & Connor
12-28-19
Syracuse, NY
Photo by Erin Willey

As a couple, our biggest goal is to travel more. Not just in 2020, but in general. We’ve only been together for about two years now & we have done quite a bit of traveling, but only in the North East Kingdom. We went to Florida once to see my family, too, but we really have only stayed in the North East. We would love to visit Oregon, Washington, Norcal, Colorado, and I would love to see Southern Cali as well. I’ve only been as low as San Francisco. Connor has never been out of the eastern time zone!

I’ve never been out of the country besides Canada. Connor has been there & to the Bahamas, but those don’t really count. We want to visit Europe, well, I do. He wants to see British Columbia. A huge problem is that I am terrified of airplanes & get major anxiety even thinking about them… but oh, so many places we have never been! Ugh. The reality is we don’t have the money. I see a lot of kids our age going on all these extravagant trips, but that’s just not in our cards at the moment. I think we could if we really tried, but we like to be careful with our money because of future goals & college loans.

So future goals, what are they? Two words: tiny home.

You heard it here first, folks. Yes, we want to build our own tiny home.

There isn’t too much detail to go into this because it’s just talk right now. We are each setting aside money specifically for the tiny home that we swore we wouldn’t touch. I hate myself for doing the mason jar thing, but I did the fucking mason jar thing. It’s helpful because you can’t simply grap the extra cash. You need to unscrew the jar and it’s just an inconvenience & inefficient. It also helps that I get my tips in nearly all change rolled up in paper and I don’t have the energy to go to the bank. So.. tiny funds.. I made a travel one, too.

Emma & Connor
12-28-19
Syracuse, NY
Photo by Erin Willey

Goals as individuals… Well, his is to race more. Connor has never been very competitive, so every bike ride he does is usually a charity event or just going out with friends. This is because when he is competing.. he becomes very competitive. I’m the same way, except I obv don’t ride mountain bikes. I’m excited for Connor to try to race more. I like going to see him, even if it’s just a five second downhill finish. His first one is planned for April – so I’m holding him accountable!

My personal goal this year is… ugh. To hike and camp more. I despise camping. It’s gross. It’s grimy. I like a bathroom. I don’t like bugs. I like my hairdryer. BUT, I also love the feeling of the fresh air really early in the morning on the top of a mountain, maybe a sunrise & some french pressed coffee. Plus if I want to travel, we are likely going to have to sleep in a tent 90% of the time because we just don’t have the money for hotels & air bnb’s which like, why are air bnb’s so expensive lately??

Early morning sunrise hike on top of Madonna Mt. in Vermont.
September 2, 2018
Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

We can both get a little more specific about goals. I think we are both trying to be more environmentally friendly. I’m trying to choose more organic coffee instead of my free coffee from Starbucks. I’m also obsessed with Four Sigmatic mushroom coffee which will be really good for camping. As far as the blog goes, I have a goal of making our first collab this year, so we’ll see! Fingers crossed!

That may have been a bust. But we really don’t set specific goals. We feel that life is always about adapting & changing & we just kind of go with the flow with some goals along the way.

Now let’s talk about ambitions. These are different from goals. A friend of mine asked us to discuss our drives & ambitions on the blog. Something we don’t get bored of – like hobbies. Dream’s that don’t get put on hold…

Emma & Connor
12-28-19
Syracuse, NY
Photo by Erin Willey

I’m going to be so fucking realistic here. & this is just my opinion so don’t come at me. I talked about this on my “Why I’m Taking a Break from Modeling” post. You always hear about the success stories of people who risk everything they have for their dreams and make it. You don’t hear about the ones who don’t. I personally do not have the drive nor personality to risk everything. I don’t want it that bad. What is my absolute dream? Being a fashion model, living in NY or LA, of course. So now let’s get real. Millions of other gorgeous people have that same dream. I’m 5’6. Yes the industry is changing, but very slowly & the core is still the same. The cost of living in NY is not practical for me to risk everything to maybe make it. Hard fucking maybe. I’m still going to try, just.. slower. On my terms. I said no to doing spring NYFW 2020 because it didn’t give me the excitment it did the first time. Actually, it gave me anxiety. I didn’t know it was coming up so quickly & it caught me off guard. I said no, but hopefully I can do it in the fall. This is probably very pessimistic & I know life coaches everywhere would be like, OF COURSE YOU CAN REACH YOUR DREAM. Yeah, maybe. I think it’s good to have powerful self-reflection skills. I asked myself how badly I want that & if I have the drive to get so uncomfortable to maybe achieve it, and the answer was no.

We pivot. We adapt.

I won’t deny that I have frequent thoughts as to if that is bullshit & I should just give up everything to try for modeling. The thoughts are there and I’ll admit that. I know that I still want to model, but on my terms. Meaning this blog & instagram. I found a passion that allows me to do it when I want it. Plus, Connor can stay beside me, or behind my camera taking the photos. My goals and ambitions have not been put on hold, they’ve just changed. I now want to pursue this. Right here. This is my type of modeling where I can also incorporate my passion for writing. This is not because of my relationship either, I just found that I needed to find a different area of my passion to explore because I didn’t like what I found in the actual modeling world.

It’s funny too because I always said, “I’d never start a blog!” & then I did and fell in love.

Emma, maybe hiking
9-29-19
Kane Mt., Albany NY
Shoes: Vasque footwear – similar

So, now my goals have changed. Of course I hope the blog takes off. I really hope to create an online community with this blog. But if not, then it doesn’t matter because I am passionate for writing anyway, so I’m just doin’ what I love. You know?

Connor’s big dream was always to work for a bike company and design bikes. Unfortunately, the only places that really do that are in other countries or across this country. Then he met me.. He isn’t putting his dreams on hold or giving them up to be with me, he’s just adapting & changing his dreams. Maybe one day he can design bikes from home.

In the end, we’re both two broke college kids in their twenties just trying to figure out life. We don’t even live together. We don’t know when we will get to. Right now I’m just trying to get through grad school to pursue teaching – honestly as a backup job to pay for the traveling I want to do & loans. My real ambition & passion has become this blog, modeling, and writing – so, I plan to continue to do that. Connor is still trying to find his passion within his engineering field, but I think that’s all part of life’s process. & it’s okay to fail. We just prefer to be precautious about it.

Early morning sunrise hike on top of Madonna Mt. in Vermont.
September 2, 2018
Processed with VSCO with c9 preset

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