a disclaimer

December 1, 2020

I said in my last post that I haven’t had anyone made me feel the same way as that mysterious man who I had a FWB relationship with. This is no longer relevant.

Vermont implemented a travel ban due to COVID-19 and I am not allowed to see Connor.

This aching in my chest, the pain of not seeing him, and the anxiety of not being allowed to see him even if I wanted to is a different shade of depression that I have never experienced.

The anxiety of not knowing when we’ll see each other again is the worst part.

I’m not going to hold moon ceremonies, but I am thinking of him nonstop, every day. Every fiber of my being just wants to be with him.

It’s not a feeling of desperation, either. Or a lack of love for myself.

I just miss him so much.

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